FINAL BLOG POST!

Six years from now your dream will be within your reach. You will cross the stage as the first person in your family to attend college. Your mom won't be there, but your friends, classmates, teachers, and family will be. In six years you will have met countless people who have kindled what started as a small spark of interest. Every person you encounter, every assignment you complete, every obstacle you face will contribute to your growth as a teacher, examples both good and bad.
In the years before student teaching, you won't take all of your literature assignments terribly seriously. You should. How your professors interact with students, teach and discuss the literature, and format their classes will be so important to you when you teach poetry or Hamlet. You will struggle with what types of questions to ask that align with the curriculum. Pay attention to the creative assignments especially. Your students won't tell you, but they crave creative expression. These assignments will bring out the potential in students they didn't know they had, and they thank you for it.
You will seek the help and advice of your advisors, which is good. They are your biggest cheerleaders. You will wish you had them all along. During your first year at WSU you will make a choice that will impact the rest of your career as a student and your future employment. You will never be able to emphasize enough that your time as an intern earned you your first teaching job. You will grow tired of doing the same things every day for two years, but eventually you learn that this experience is unique and you can make it your own. The teachers you work with will give you materials, advice, and feedback on your performance; they will let you teach their class as many times as you want, all before your senior year. You will wish that every education student took this opportunity, and you will wish that you had the chance to tell everyone how important it is.
You won't realize how incredible WSU's school of education is until you get over the fact that you transferred schools. You won't realize that they are the only school in the area who requires a field placement for four semesters in a row. You won't realize what advantages this will give you.
During your last year of school, you will need a break, you will dread having to take a class, and you will get tired of being a student. The best thing you will have is this class. You will find that your experiences will be much different from those of your classmates. You will find that you will all have very different relationships with your CTs. Best of all, you will find support, camaraderie, and advice that will push you to pass your certification, push you to go to class, and push you to, in all things, do your best. You won't find competition. Your instructors will see your frustration and exhaustion, but they won't bog you down with homework. Everything will be more than manageable.
You won't realize the amount of modeling your own teachers do for you until you've completed the education program. You won't quite realize how to apply the plethora of information you have learned  until you begin student teaching, but it will come. Despite all of the literature classes you take, you won't feel prepared to teach it. You will use your notes, other people's notes, blogs, and anything else you can get your hands on to help you struggle through your first literature unit because you won't quite understand how you should be teaching. No one will ever instruct you directly; you will have to learn from observation from people who never went to school for education.
You will wish there was a class that taught grammar and you will wonder why you take six credit hours of Linguistics instead. You will wish creative writing classes were required because you will be afraid to assign your students something you yourself have never tried (Helpful Tip: Try EVERYTHING yourself before your give it to your students; if you can't do it, chances are they can't either). You won't get grammar and writing instructor instruction until you are student teaching.
You will learn to take advantage of all the programs and services WSU has to offer. You should do every mock interview, every resume workshop, and every interview day that you can. You won't be able to do everything, but try.
 Your teachers will set you up to succeed. Their efforts won't go unnoticed (although as a teacher yourself you may often think they do). You will use every calendar, syllabus, and assignment sheet that they give you, and you probably won't thank them for everything you use, but you will appreciate it.
You won't think that you can finish the semester, but you will.
You will need to meet friends lots of times at Mort's for half price martinis.
You will need to eat junk food once in a while to make yourself feel better.
But you will be okay.

Lesson Planning and Design: Things Fall Apart...and then come back together

I'm really excited about this new development in my teaching career, and in my excitement I can't wait to share!

A few weeks ago, I expressed my concern about the cohesiveness of my unit plans. I felt like I was teaching the material, but that the fluency of the activities, literature, and plans was absent.
My thoughts ranged from the following:
I'm an incompetent teacher.
Well, you're busy right now, so maybe it will get better when things slow down...but things never slow down!!!!!
This building has too many interruptions, but all buildings have interruptions so get used to it.

It was definitely not an inner monologue I benefited from.

Here's what I've learned:

I'm not an incompetent teacher, but this stuff takes practice. I didn't learn this overnight, I didn't perfect it within the first month, and I certainly haven't perfected it now. But I cannot express to you the lifted weight of relief I feel now that I know it can be fixed.

The more material you as a teacher understand, have covered as a class, and have personally taught and planned helps significantly when planning a new unit. It is incredibly difficult to start from scratch with every, single, mother-loving lesson I plan. However, I was able to have my students use what we learned earlier in the semester to further their understanding and exploration of the text we started two months later. I found myself saying [during Hunger Games], Remember 'denotation' and 'connotation?' Good, what are they? And what is the denotative meaning of 'Happy?' What is the emotional connotation of the word from the phrase 'Happy Hunger Games?' Is it really happy? Good. Now THAT'S called irony. Irony is what we will be looking for throughout the novel, and you will need to know denotation and connotation for the words, phrases, and ideas explored in verbal irony.
    They understood.
    We did an activity.
    Amazing.

Backwards design really does work.  For real. Tell everyone. As a new teacher, I am pretty unfamiliar with the standards. I haven't taught this level of students before, so I don't have any idea about what things need to be covered unless I look at and study the standards (which I also recommend doing). I HAD to address the standards in EVERY lesson. Objectives HAVE to tie to the standards. And backwards design is a HUGE help. I found that my lessons needed a greater purpose outside of finish this book. What types of skills were being assessed? How could the lessons build upon one another? How could they be used in later lessons outside the unit? Backwards design; problem solved.

It has been a nice feeling to see not only a unit come together nicely, but to see the usefulness in the practice, experience, and education I have had the last few years.
My note to you is this: Don't get discouraged. Continue practicing (always). Hard work really does payoff. And as a word of advice to all future student teachers, take what your professors ask you to do seriously. Pay attention not only to the material they give you, but to the methods they use. Notice how your literature professors present their material and get you to analyze text. Start observing how the teachers who teach you interact with every aspect of their job.
Someday soon you will find it useful.

#LessonPlanningProbs

As I conclude my second month of student teaching, I wish I could say I felt better about what I'm doing with my classes. I am planning and teaching lessons for the senior college prep classes, and our unit uses The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. I wanted to do something relevant and useful for my students; and since Pausch's book is based on a lecture he gave at Carnegie Mellon, it was appropriate to plan this unit around oratorical skills and communication.

My plan seemed pretty solid at first. I introduced the book, the author, and the culminating project (a graduation speech for the students to give in class). I gave the students clear objectives, and I explained that participation and grades for the unit would be rooted in oral communication or discussion. It was my hope that through "authentic discussion" (Randy Bomer), my students would be able to discuss the literature, find the themes, discuss the connection between their lives and the theme, and pose and respond to questions in a student-led atmosphere. I diligently studied and sought to improve each discussion by seeking out resources, and our discussions did improve. The students are now respectful toward one another, compliment each other, politely agree or disagree, and ask deep questions that require critical thinking. The format for discussion stays the same: students fill out two worksheets per week (one response journal and one discussion form), the requirements stay the same. But the discussion skills improve. I must say, I'm impressed (and grateful that it worked).

All the while, I have included workshops for pre-writing, drafting, and revision for their final graduation speech, but students were mostly expected to complete outside of class.

These successes are not the problem.

I had all these other ideas I wanted to incorporate into the lesson. But I forgot about them, or I didn't figure out how to fit them in until after it was appropriate. I had all these ideas about what to include in revision and writing workshops, but we ran out of time. I wanted to compare and contrast good and bad speeches, and discuss what qualities they as an audience value.  All of these supplemental ideas supported the unit and culminating project, and they would have scaffolded perfectly into the unit. But the time has passed, and I'm afraid that their writing will have suffered because I didn't do these activities before they wrote and turned in their speeches.

I have discovered other ways to incorporate the ideas this time, but it doesn't fit together because the larger project came before the supplemental activities. I know that I can use this if I ever teach this again, but the damage has already been done.

How am I ever supposed to REALLY teach them something if I can't get all of my thoughts and ideas onto paper and into a cohesively scaffolded unit? And although I plan my unit using backwards design and I fill out daily lesson plans, why do I feel like I'm not FEELING this unit piece together? Like I've left something out? Like they don't understand the point (even though we have talked about it)? Am I just projecting my insecurities onto my lessons, or do my students feel like I haven't prepared them as well?

Everything you wanted to know about student teaching *but were afraid to ask

Good things are going to happen. But
it's not going to be a piece of cake.
You will have to work for it. You are
going to get sick within the first month of student teaching despite how diligently
you take vitamin c,
sanitize your students' desks, your desk, and the door knob...Maybe
the germs came from their papers...
And if you think having
a sick day is the same as having time off,
guess again. Time is the only thing you need that you can't use your tuition refund to buy.
What part you didn't use to pay for your PRAXIS tests anyway.
The KPTP deadline is fast approaching, and you just
picked up a couple more shifts at work because you
miscalculated your monthly budget.
But there is potential for good news. All of the
stress from work, school, and certification requirements could just help you
lose the weight from the food people brought the week of
your mom's funeral.
And the few, random springtime-like days in mid-January will give you a cure to
last just long enough
to cure your winter blues
until spring break.
You will also agree to be a bridesmaid in
your best friend's wedding.
And in your excitement, you completely forgot that means
going to bridal fairs, planning showers and parties, and buying a dress.
You will be worried that
despite all the hard work you've done
the past five years
you still won't get a job offer.
But your days in that life are numbered,
and when you come out of it you will have
a degree, your pride, great friends, and the
fond memories of a feverish semester that you owned.

Poem modeled after Ellen Bass's poem "Relax."
http://www.ellenbass.com/books/like-a-beggar/relax/

Genre Reflection 2

Day 20
Just had my first parent teacher conference of the year. It's weird to think that this is the only school I've ever been to where I have stayed for more than one parent teacher conference. I know that may not make any sense, especially since this is only my first semester of my sophomore year, but this is my 15th school I've attended since Kindergarten. I have NEVER stayed in a place long enough for teachers to act like they care about me or have some sort of school record.
My grandpa told me that all my teachers said my grades were getting better.
Good news: I'm no longer failing English. It's a D, but still.

Day 22
Nothing really exciting has happened in school lately. We're kind of in the middle of the semester, so we haven't had any fun projects in any of my classes. I'm hoping we will do something better soon because I can't pay attention in class.

Day 23
I keep getting pulled out of class, and it's making me fall behind in class. I hate having to fight to keep up with school work. My English teacher has me come in for help and extra time during advocacy every day so I don't have to take anything home for homework, but I've still had to take some things with me.

Day 25
Finally! Something interesting to do. Ok, so in my English class we are almost finished reading this book Of Mice and Men, and it's kinda boring. But today we got to watch a clip from Dexter which is this really awesome show, that's not really appropriate for school, about a serial killer. My teacher didn't show us anything bad, but she said it would help us discuss the end of the book. We talked a lot about murder: who deserves it, is it ever justified, what is considered murder, and who gets to decide.

Day 28
Holy crap. I never would have thought I'd like this book (ya know the one we're reading in English?), but we just read the last chapter. Basically, these two guys are best friends, go everywhere together, want to retire and live together, and one of them gets into trouble because he doesn't understand how to act around people (he's mentally slow). He definitely makes the wrong people mad when he murders his boss's wife (but on accident!), so his best friend decides to kill him before the other people do.
Pretty much every time we read this book, until today, the whole class was really bored.
But today everybody wanted to talk about it, and our teacher wanted us to argue about it!
I think I could definitely get paid to argue my opinion.
Maybe I could become a lawyer.

Day 30
I have been thinking a lot lately about what I want to do after I graduate. I have always liked math and science, but I don't know what kind of career I would want because I'm just interested in it. Then earlier this week I thought that I could be a lawyer because it was so fun arguing with other people, but going to law school would take forever and I don't like school a whole lot, especially when I'm forced to take classes I don't want to.
It's interesting that I've been thinking about it because I took a test about my interests.
I can't remember all of the different categories, but the ones I scored high in were music, one about working with my hands, and the last one about being good at talking to people. I definitely agree with all of those. My teacher talked to us about our "intelligences" and told us all the different careers we could have with them. I think all teachers should have their students take these tests, especially in high school. It really helped me think more about what I want to do with my life.

Day 32
I just took my test for the book we read. I really hate taking tests, but this one was different than other English tests I've had because it didn't ask me questions about the book, but we did have to answer for the themes that went with the book that apply to our lives.
I thought that was neat. Hope I did well.

Day 35
I used my newfound "intelligence" (from the test) to pick out a project that, according to the test, I should like. I am going to design a new piece of art for a book cover.

Day 40
I wish I knew what I got on  my test. My teacher has been gone the entire week. I'm not going to start my project until she gets back.

Day 50
Still no word about my grades. My teacher is still gone from school.

Day 60
My teacher came back and she wanted us to turn in our projects. I haven't even done mine. She said my grade will be docked if I don't turn it in tomorrow. There is no freaking way I'm going to get it done.

Day 61
I didn't turn in my project, and my grandpa has been calling the school every day to check on my grades. He's so mad at me for not doing this project; it's worth like a hundred points. My teacher said I can still turn it it, but my grade lowers each day I don't turn it in.

Day 63
I haven't started it yet...I have too much other work IN CLASS.
My teacher's last day is Monday, so I have the weekend to finish it.

Day 66
I didn't turn in my project. I got a zero. I have under a 50% in this class, and I'm going to have to retake a semester of sophomore English.

If you are sinking, they are too.

Gather your things. Put on your name-badge. Take a deep breath.

Tomorrow I go back to my students after three weeks of absence. I expect my students and colleagues to ask questions because they don't know the whole story. I won't blame them.
Even if I they don't, I'm not sure if I'm ready, if I'm fine.

The thing is, I'm drowning. What happened in my life has nothing to do with my students, but I don't want it to affect them. I want to be able to come back, unaffected. But I know that isn't realistic.

When I left, my students were half-way through presenting their final projects. Those whose projects were completed were graded, but what should I do about the rest of them?
I'm really concerned about how my actions, unintentional and avoidable, but they have still affected my students.

How do I make-up for the missed grades? I can't count against them for my absence, but I want to ensure that they are still graded fairly.

Also, how can I hold my classroom together when I am falling apart?
Right now I have a CT who can take some of the burden, but what about when I have my own classroom? Would I have needed to take leave from the FMLA, use my sick-days, vacation days? I feel that I need to protect myself as well as my students.
According to the National Council on Teacher Quality, in 2012 the average teacher had approximately 4 personal days and 11 sick days per year (www.nctq.org).

Fisher and Frey talk often about transparency with your students. Though their recommendation falls mostly under lessons, I have chosen to be transparent with my students in these circumstances as well. Any basic guide to being a good teacher will suggest that teachers avoid becoming friends with their students (obviously), but they will usually condone come across as a person to make you seem relatable (or human) to your students.

A few months ago, a student in my class was absent for a few weeks. I remember thinking What  could she be doing that takes her away from three weeks worth of class? and when she came back Why hasn't she completed her work I gave her?
Well.
I feel that I should apologize to this individual for even THINKING that she was gone for no reason or not making an effort to do her assignments (because I certainly never said it out loud or gave her any grief). My absence made me realize that when life happens, when crisis happens, when tragedy happens, homework is not the priority. And not only was homework not my priority, but homework for ONE specific class did not take priority. So when I returned to school, no one class had not taken precedence over another. Who was I, one of her 8 teachers, to think she should have taken the time to complete a handful of assignments I had given her when I had not done the same with my classes?
In the future, I want to be emotionally and academically generous with students who are absent for long periods of time to ensure that they don't become overwhelmed, and that they continue to focus on themselves and their personal needs once they resume their routines.

And now, for a few things that have brought me cheer recently. Here is the link to my Pinterest Board that always cheers me up: http://www.pinterest.com/lindsaydale/couldn-t-have-said-it-better-myself/

"So, shut up and just do it."

"So, shut up and just do it."

Before attending the KATE Conference this weekend, I did not know what to expect. Would I encounter disgruntled English teachers from across the state who were being forced to attend by the district? Or would everyone be here simply for a paid retreat away from their students? Or even just for cliquish bragging rights against rival schools?
My conceptions about what would occur and who would be present could not have been more amiss.

I staggered into the hotel around 8 a.m. Thursday morning, running a bit more late than I had hoped, and praying there would be some food left. Thankfully, I found the line for registration to be short; and next to registration, a BOUNTY of food! Although, I must have been too eagerly eyeing the buffet when a handful of people pushed their way in front of me at the registration table. I must admit, I was hoping this encounter would not foreshadow what the next 48 hours would hold.

As the conference officially began, I scarfed down the remainder of my eggs (delicious) and fished around in my tote for my laptop to take notes during the first keynote address: Dr. Howard Pitler.

Dr. Pitler, a seasoned education professional, lent some excellent insight into incorporating new technologies in our classrooms. But my favorite part was trying some of them out. Through his presentation he briefly explained several of the suggestions he had, and even noted which would be most appropriate for what grades. I rapidly (because he clicked quickly through the slides) typed notes on each tool he mentioned. So not only do I have lots to explore, but I have lots to share! Classmates: If you missed out on all the notes, I will bring them to class!  I was excited to hear that many of his suggestions were several I had heard of, but had been too afraid to try. However, my fears about using technology (Is it too radical? Is it too much? Will it work?) have been assuaged through a 9 a.m. keynote address on a Thursday morning. Who knew...

As I was only able to stay for half the day on Thursday, I was determined to make the most of the two breakout sessions. I anxiously deliberated between my four final choices and peered at the choices of my colleagues' attendance logs to see if we shared the same interests. Yet, I made the trek to the Topeka Room alone, hoping for some hands-on Language Arts and Crafts. The presenters had brought several unique, obscure, and definitely non-traditional projects to display. Each attendee received a packet that fully described the projects discussed in the presentation. I must report, however, that no crafts were made that day.    

Although the packet was lengthy, the presenters gave only a snapshot of each project; some needed further elaboration, and many teachers were happy to inquire further. I appreciate how practical these assignments were. Not much technology or resources were needed for each project, they could be altered to fit different texts, and the focus was not on the creativity but on the ideas and organization. In fact, they specifically mentioned that "bad artists" were not punished. Some of their best examples came from ugly pictures.

So far, so good. An exciting new-age keynote address and non-traditional projects without a poster in sight! Between break-out sessions I waited in line with the caffeine junkies trying to score a cup of hot water for my tea, and I found that this was the best way to chat with people---while they aren't scurrying to another break-out session, or looking through handouts picked up in a new session, and certainly not in the food line. This weekend, I proudly sported my College of Education name badge, hoping that it would denote that I was not yet employed, but soon hoping to be. And guess what: people noticed! I met several other former WSU students, a couple with who I had classes with my first semester here. Each person I spoke with was friendly and welcoming. I hope that these positive interactions will help me market myself well in upcoming job interviews.
ONE name drop never hurt anyone...

Although I was impressed with KATE Con, Day 1, I could not have anticipated Day 2.
Today, I got to meet Taylor Mali. Yeah, so he meets new people every day who are taken by his charisma, passion, and talent, but I don't get so close to fame that often, so I was pumped. So pumped in fact, that I arrived at 7 a.m., and I definitely ate like two and a half bagels.
#SoNervous #KateCon #TaylorMali

Before I met my Poetry group, I had one breakout session to choose wisely. The Poster Presentation group seemed lively, after all there were several listed, I thought it would keep me busy and keep my mind off of our "private time with Taylor" (that was for you, Krystal).
The large conference room in which the session was held was empty when I arrived. Maybe I'm early? I'll go get more tea. I come back. Nope, still empty. Three posters, three presenters, no other people attending. I discovered that these presentations were a come-and-go kind of thing. Although I went around to each presentation, asked questions, took notes, took pictures, it wasn't enough to fill an hour. In fact, I was in there for about 15 minutes. The idea behind this session is good: Some people may not want to give a lecture, or want the pressure of presenting to a large group, so they can have a display, and be there to answer questions. But for my taste and the amount of time, there were just not simply enough displays. Suggestion for next year:  have more poster presentations, please! :)

This did give me the opportunity to chat with a representative from Heartland who review and recommend young adult books to other Kansas teachers. I have their contact information, and ya know what, I think I'm going to get involved.

Finally, the time had come. My poetry students had arrived and we were meeting with Taylor Mali. I thought we would get some good pictures, receive some good feedback on how to improve their poetry, maybe even change it. But I learned something from this session that I didn't expect. I learned how I need to be teaching. Mali's style was direct: approachable, charismatic, humorous, but pin-point direct. He spoke with each student like he had known them in his own classroom. They were there to learn; they knew it and he knew it. He didn't let them get away with excuses. "I'm nervous...I can't help it...This is just how I am! I didn't even notice!...I can, but..." And his response was: "So, shut up and do it!" Clear enough. They giggled; they knew he wasn't mad or cruel. And another thing, they shut up and did it.
This is the key piece I am missing with my students. I have shown them I care, that I'm funny, that I am not boring. But I need to show them that we have something to learn, and that being the class clown will get you plenty of laughs and attention, but it won't help you or your peers learn. His lessons were fast paced---he stopped them in the middle of a word if something was wrong. He didn't let them make tons of mistakes before he corrected them. He corrected them as they came. When they fixed them, THEN they received praise. Each student was held accountable for what they should have learned from those who performed before them based on whether or not they implemented the changes he asked of them. It put pressure on them in front of other students and not to mention in front of a freakin' New York City poet (who happened to earn his masters from Kansas).
It certainly made me question, Can I pull this off...?

Our session time with Taylor Mali was extended another half hour, which was amazing. However, I am sad I missed Megan's presentation! I wanted to be there to support her. She is so dedicated, resourceful, organized, and giving, I wanted to be able to listen to her share what she is passionate about. I hear it went well, Megan!

With my first conference under my belt, I feel enlightened, elated, and inspired to go forth into the world as a student teacher in the weeks to come with several ideas I can get behind, and people who have shown that they are behind me. I have learned that, if nothing else, KATE Con is full of opportunities I never expected.